My colleagues are cheese men. Hell, I've been known to dabble in the eating of various cheesy comestibles in my time, in fact, I like to think of myself as something of a cheese appreciator.
Yet there are two forms of cheese I will never eat.
Version one: Kraft Easy Cheese. Aerosol and off milk should never go together. It's as simple as that. It's like some form of edible silly string that doesn't shoot as far. This is what's Rockin' Rory's Stomach (just like gastro-enter-i-tis did)
Cheese two: Grated Parmesan & Romano in easy sprinkling form. Now, this one's actually a bit misleading, because I _have_ and will eat this form of cheese again. No, what I will avoid is the remnants Tim has taken claim of, which have the delectable expiry date of June. Twenty-seventh. Two thousand and TWO. I've seen blue cheese, I've seen orange cheese, and oh so many variations on yellow cheese.
Brown cheese?
Please.
The cure?
White Russians and lots of 'em.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
Wine Updates
We never did finish the Red Truck.
Foxhorn Vineyards do a nice little number that accompanies COD2 very nicely, and at $6.99 (plus tax) for 1.25L it's (as they say here) a no-brainer*.
We've been drinking some south aussie red by the large bottle too, mainly because it's cheap (east aussie wine seems to be about $1/gallon here... west aussie, if you can find it, is the sort of prices one would expect) and tastes like wine rather than some sort of wine-like fruit drink filled with sugar.
Rory just broke a glass. Whoops. That's going to hurt when he staggers out to his corner of the desk in the morning.
Ok. I'm done with the wine blogging. It was swell while it lasted, but as Lori Petty says, the swelling's gone down.
From now on, it's... umm... y'know... stuff. Dave, if you're reading this, let me know how the real title for the Dirty Dozen project's coming along.
* which by the quality of the wine I guess means I'll have no brain by the morning. C'est la vie.
Foxhorn Vineyards do a nice little number that accompanies COD2 very nicely, and at $6.99 (plus tax) for 1.25L it's (as they say here) a no-brainer*.
We've been drinking some south aussie red by the large bottle too, mainly because it's cheap (east aussie wine seems to be about $1/gallon here... west aussie, if you can find it, is the sort of prices one would expect) and tastes like wine rather than some sort of wine-like fruit drink filled with sugar.
Rory just broke a glass. Whoops. That's going to hurt when he staggers out to his corner of the desk in the morning.
Ok. I'm done with the wine blogging. It was swell while it lasted, but as Lori Petty says, the swelling's gone down.
From now on, it's... umm... y'know... stuff. Dave, if you're reading this, let me know how the real title for the Dirty Dozen project's coming along.
* which by the quality of the wine I guess means I'll have no brain by the morning. C'est la vie.
Here and There
Here they don't have street lights.
There they don't have snow.
Here they put salt and sugar in EVERYTHING
There I didn't know what salt was until I moved to Napes
Here they drive on this side.
There they drive on the right side.
Here is way closer to New York.
There is way closer to Cott.
Here the toilets use lots of water.
There the toilets have spiders.
Here they too few roundabouts.
There they have too many traffic lights.
Here you can order stuff online.
There you can buy beer on a sunday.
Here I drive an Audi
There I drove an Excel
Here I spend all day with norm & ror.
There I spent all day with norm & ror.
Here we're travelling to the big city to celebrate our national day
There I'm missing a pool-party or seven.
Here the butter comes in little sticks.
There the tomatoes don't cost $1.10 each
Here we're approaching alpha...
There they don't have snow.
Here they put salt and sugar in EVERYTHING
There I didn't know what salt was until I moved to Napes
Here they drive on this side.
There they drive on the right side.
Here is way closer to New York.
There is way closer to Cott.
Here the toilets use lots of water.
There the toilets have spiders.
Here they too few roundabouts.
There they have too many traffic lights.
Here you can order stuff online.
There you can buy beer on a sunday.
Here I drive an Audi
There I drove an Excel
Here I spend all day with norm & ror.
There I spent all day with norm & ror.
Here we're travelling to the big city to celebrate our national day
There I'm missing a pool-party or seven.
Here the butter comes in little sticks.
There the tomatoes don't cost $1.10 each
Here we're approaching alpha...
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Wild Bunch
They Say:
Some are born to it -
Others just ake a walk there every now and then. All of us come from it. And there's still a little bit in everyone. You don't have to join the wild bunch because you are already a member.
- Come as you are. [as you were, etc.]
Bright red fruit aromas lead late tongue-drenching juicy fruit flavors, with a long soft finigh. Delicious, and fun to share with friends. 2003 Wild Bunch is a blend of Zinfandel, Syrah and Barbera. GET WILD!
Kelly Says:
It didn't taste like it did in the store.
3/10
Some are born to it -
Others just ake a walk there every now and then. All of us come from it. And there's still a little bit in everyone. You don't have to join the wild bunch because you are already a member.
- Come as you are. [as you were, etc.]
Bright red fruit aromas lead late tongue-drenching juicy fruit flavors, with a long soft finigh. Delicious, and fun to share with friends. 2003 Wild Bunch is a blend of Zinfandel, Syrah and Barbera. GET WILD!
Kelly Says:
It didn't taste like it did in the store.
3/10
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Gumstripper
Beringer Founders' Estate 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon
They say:
Our wines are a tribute to the Beringer Brothers who founded Beringer Vineyards in 1876. These classically styled, fruit-forward wines are hand-crafted for your enjoyment. [Enough already! Tell us about the wine...] This full-bodied Cabernet Savignon [...thankyou.] exhibits deep berry flavors [sic] and subtle notes of toasted oak and vanilla spice. Serve with your favourite grilled meats or hearty pasta dishes. Enjoy! (their italics)
We say:
"The first thing it did was strip the skin off the roof of my mouth," says Cabin Guy Rory. "A full-bodied red; with an after experience similar to a velvet throat-cushion. My tongue is slow like a bean-bag. A pleasant experience, but lacking in quaff."
5.5/10
Norm says: "Yeah, it's quaffable."
They say:
Our wines are a tribute to the Beringer Brothers who founded Beringer Vineyards in 1876. These classically styled, fruit-forward wines are hand-crafted for your enjoyment. [Enough already! Tell us about the wine...] This full-bodied Cabernet Savignon [...thankyou.] exhibits deep berry flavors [sic] and subtle notes of toasted oak and vanilla spice. Serve with your favourite grilled meats or hearty pasta dishes. Enjoy! (their italics)
We say:
"The first thing it did was strip the skin off the roof of my mouth," says Cabin Guy Rory. "A full-bodied red; with an after experience similar to a velvet throat-cushion. My tongue is slow like a bean-bag. A pleasant experience, but lacking in quaff."
5.5/10
Norm says: "Yeah, it's quaffable."
Woodbridge California Merlot
I don't know who Robert Mondavi is, but he certainly mixes a good drop o' merlot. Today we're looking (initially) at a 2003 merlot that poses the question: "The Perfect Toast?"
They Say:
Aging in small oak barrels gives wines softer, more developed flavors [sic] with nuances of toasty oak. We handcraft our Merlot with this traditional method to marry the wine's velvety blackberry, plum and violet flavors [sic] with spicy, toasty oak, creating a soft red wine with a lingering finish. So whateer your "toast" or meal, enjoy it with our flavorful [sic] Merlot.
We say:
Small oak barrels my arse. When a wine is as smooth as this all you need to put on the label is: "Red wine. Does not hurt to drink." As for a 'violet' flavour, I'm listening to some french album that sounds bacony. Please. Much like good reggae, it's inoffensive yet lacks distinction.
6.5/10
Norm has nothing to add.
They Say:
Aging in small oak barrels gives wines softer, more developed flavors [sic] with nuances of toasty oak. We handcraft our Merlot with this traditional method to marry the wine's velvety blackberry, plum and violet flavors [sic] with spicy, toasty oak, creating a soft red wine with a lingering finish. So whateer your "toast" or meal, enjoy it with our flavorful [sic] Merlot.
We say:
Small oak barrels my arse. When a wine is as smooth as this all you need to put on the label is: "Red wine. Does not hurt to drink." As for a 'violet' flavour, I'm listening to some french album that sounds bacony. Please. Much like good reggae, it's inoffensive yet lacks distinction.
6.5/10
Norm has nothing to add.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Truth in advertising
Much to our surprise, bottle number two stayed true to at least part of it's bottleblurb. In light of this, we're going to let it tell its side of the story in full.
Columbia Crest Two Wines
2002 Cab Sav
They say: [with annotations] Columbia Crest Cabernet Sauvignon is a full-bodied wine known for its immediate enjoyment [we concur] as well as its age-worthiness. [while we can't comment empirically on this, give that it's a 3 year old bottle, it stands up orright.] Toasty vanilla is woven [what is this, an ice-cream rug?] throughout the wine's rich black cherry core. Oak barrel aging adds dimension.
We say: The first half of Wolf Creek is pretty crap. The girl from seachange is cute, but the plot is less believable than The Course. They shouldn't have pushed the car off the cliff and now they're splitting up. For the love of jeebuz.
6/10
Columbia Crest Two Wines
2002 Cab Sav
They say: [with annotations] Columbia Crest Cabernet Sauvignon is a full-bodied wine known for its immediate enjoyment [we concur] as well as its age-worthiness. [while we can't comment empirically on this, give that it's a 3 year old bottle, it stands up orright.] Toasty vanilla is woven [what is this, an ice-cream rug?] throughout the wine's rich black cherry core. Oak barrel aging adds dimension.
We say: The first half of Wolf Creek is pretty crap. The girl from seachange is cute, but the plot is less believable than The Course. They shouldn't have pushed the car off the cliff and now they're splitting up. For the love of jeebuz.
6/10
Lady in Red
I'm sure anyone actually reading this will want to hear about Brooklyn, Manhattan and all that travelly stuff, but instead, here is part one of the Cabin Guys Guide to American Red Wine...
There are rules, but we won't tell you what they are.
Let's begin.
RED TRUCK
2004 California 'Red Wine'
They Say: All kinds of crap about a fictional red truck on your grandfather's farm making you feel good.
We say: Electric, like sticking your tongue across the terminals of a 9v battery. The aroma is reminiscent of a prosthetic limb production facility. Price was $7.99. Has a slight numbing effect on the lips and tongue, but unlike Kava, it's not really that pleasant. Overall? Pretty bad, but we'll finish the bottle.
3/10
There are rules, but we won't tell you what they are.
Let's begin.
RED TRUCK
2004 California 'Red Wine'
They Say: All kinds of crap about a fictional red truck on your grandfather's farm making you feel good.
We say: Electric, like sticking your tongue across the terminals of a 9v battery. The aroma is reminiscent of a prosthetic limb production facility. Price was $7.99. Has a slight numbing effect on the lips and tongue, but unlike Kava, it's not really that pleasant. Overall? Pretty bad, but we'll finish the bottle.
3/10
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Social Experimentation Hurrah
There's this guy. His name's Jim. He had an idea for a social experiment. Here it is.
"Mario Kart is fun against just one other person"
- RBStark
"Mario Kart is fun against just one other person"
- RBStark
Monday, November 14, 2005
Wassat? Eh? Say again?
It should be a great time to be in film and tv - setup costs are going through the floor - consumer level HD cameras, ridiculously simple editing software, funky editing hardware, more brilliant actors than we know what to do with, apple realising that people already download tv shows and making a viable business model for delivery based on that and to top it all off - increasingly sluggish tv networks*. Anyone who wants to tell a story should be able to write a script, get a camera and point it at some people and come up with something great.
Only one small problem. Sound. While it's possible to get great looking footage with a pretty cheap camera, it's really hard to get decent sound with anything less than ideal conditions and bloody expensive hardware. Oh, and good people doing the mic waving and mixing.
If you look at what's already out there you can hear the lack of decent sound in 9 out of 10 otherwise good short films. Do I have a solution? No. But if the new business types are to be believed, identifying a real problem is the first step toward making a successful business. Also, this would mean more and better films and tv shows for us all!
Good sound is so important in visual media. Counterintuitive perhaps, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Crappy visuals you can get away with. Crappy sound? Forget it. The most beautifully shot movie becomes unwatchable if you can't hear it properly. This applies to television and games too**.
So. Problem identified. Possible solutions? USB Memory Sticks with microphones? "Sure, but the quality of a mic that small can't be all that great," I hear you cry. To which I say: "Umm, well, if they can actually GET it onto the memory stick, won't that mean they're quite cheap?"
To which you reply "Ok. Yeah, I guess."
"Which would mean you could quote the propellorheads."
"You mean 'Very goood. You give me so much at one time. Yes, I do; I may have-'"
"No, no, no - the other one."
"'Now, presumably for something like that you'd need a very large number of microphones?'"
"Bingo! That's the one! And they'll be cheap and small and light, so you can stick them all over the scene"
"They'll be auto-camouflaging as well, will they?"
"Oh, shut up - we'll cover them with gaffer or something, that's not the point."
"No Khrob - the point is that a lot of shit audio recordings will still sound shit"
"Ah," says me, "but that's where the really clever software comes in."
"And you're going to write it, I suppose?"
"Hell no. I'm not that smrt. But since you seem to know so much about all this, perhaps you can tell me if it would be possible to cut out extraneous, well, noise, and get a decent recording quite cheaply"
"Ummm, I'll get back to you."
If anyone can play the other role in this little scene, just add some more dialogue down below in the Ye Olde Comments Secktion.
Another option (if the whole idea isn't fundamentally floored) would be a nice little radio usb hub that comes with a dozen small radio microphones, and pulls in the sound and processes it as you go... As long as it's cheap, and sounds good.
* who can good shows like Futurama and Family Guy, then wonder why DVD sales for same are so huge... It's not that we don't like the shows people! It's that we don't like waiting until You say it's ok to watch.
** admittedly, not so much for games, but you'd probably be surprised at the sound budgets for Black and White 2 or Halo, not to mention GTA - and it's only going to get worse/better*** from here.
*** you know, depending on whether you're paying to make it or consume it.
Only one small problem. Sound. While it's possible to get great looking footage with a pretty cheap camera, it's really hard to get decent sound with anything less than ideal conditions and bloody expensive hardware. Oh, and good people doing the mic waving and mixing.
If you look at what's already out there you can hear the lack of decent sound in 9 out of 10 otherwise good short films. Do I have a solution? No. But if the new business types are to be believed, identifying a real problem is the first step toward making a successful business. Also, this would mean more and better films and tv shows for us all!
Good sound is so important in visual media. Counterintuitive perhaps, but that doesn't mean it's not true. Crappy visuals you can get away with. Crappy sound? Forget it. The most beautifully shot movie becomes unwatchable if you can't hear it properly. This applies to television and games too**.
So. Problem identified. Possible solutions? USB Memory Sticks with microphones? "Sure, but the quality of a mic that small can't be all that great," I hear you cry. To which I say: "Umm, well, if they can actually GET it onto the memory stick, won't that mean they're quite cheap?"
To which you reply "Ok. Yeah, I guess."
"Which would mean you could quote the propellorheads."
"You mean 'Very goood. You give me so much at one time. Yes, I do; I may have-'"
"No, no, no - the other one."
"'Now, presumably for something like that you'd need a very large number of microphones?'"
"Bingo! That's the one! And they'll be cheap and small and light, so you can stick them all over the scene"
"They'll be auto-camouflaging as well, will they?"
"Oh, shut up - we'll cover them with gaffer or something, that's not the point."
"No Khrob - the point is that a lot of shit audio recordings will still sound shit"
"Ah," says me, "but that's where the really clever software comes in."
"And you're going to write it, I suppose?"
"Hell no. I'm not that smrt. But since you seem to know so much about all this, perhaps you can tell me if it would be possible to cut out extraneous, well, noise, and get a decent recording quite cheaply"
"Ummm, I'll get back to you."
If anyone can play the other role in this little scene, just add some more dialogue down below in the Ye Olde Comments Secktion.
Another option (if the whole idea isn't fundamentally floored) would be a nice little radio usb hub that comes with a dozen small radio microphones, and pulls in the sound and processes it as you go... As long as it's cheap, and sounds good.
* who can good shows like Futurama and Family Guy, then wonder why DVD sales for same are so huge... It's not that we don't like the shows people! It's that we don't like waiting until You say it's ok to watch.
** admittedly, not so much for games, but you'd probably be surprised at the sound budgets for Black and White 2 or Halo, not to mention GTA - and it's only going to get worse/better*** from here.
*** you know, depending on whether you're paying to make it or consume it.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Under the influence... of Anger.
Maybe I should make all the titles for these things sound like taglines from 60's and 70's horror films. Yeah. We'll see how long that lasts.
Unpop culture references aside, I am, indeed, angry. Today it's the New Media types. Exponents of story, cross-media communicators, theorists and speculators and all those people who are trying to tell me that the world will soon be awash with richly woven tapestries of complementary platform delivered story experiences.
And I don't disagree. But it sure as hell ain't gonna be written by most of the people doing the theorising. I visit their pages/blogs/university sites and the very first thing I'm greeted with is reams of text, with long paragraphs, extending right across my browser window (which at 1600x1200 is a lot of wpl) and none of the 'cross-media' crap they're promising (Like a diagram maybe? But then, pictures are SO old print media...)
I'm sorry people, if you can't master the written form of communicating ideas, which has been studied and understood for a hell of a lot longer than this intermatron thingummy, I don't really want to know your theories on where 'new' media is heading. Stand up, turn around, order another cappucino, and get back to your important dissection of the underlying metaphors present in modern literature.
By the way, Richard Fidler? You really ought to know better by now. For shame.
Unpop culture references aside, I am, indeed, angry. Today it's the New Media types. Exponents of story, cross-media communicators, theorists and speculators and all those people who are trying to tell me that the world will soon be awash with richly woven tapestries of complementary platform delivered story experiences.
And I don't disagree. But it sure as hell ain't gonna be written by most of the people doing the theorising. I visit their pages/blogs/university sites and the very first thing I'm greeted with is reams of text, with long paragraphs, extending right across my browser window (which at 1600x1200 is a lot of wpl) and none of the 'cross-media' crap they're promising (Like a diagram maybe? But then, pictures are SO old print media...)
I'm sorry people, if you can't master the written form of communicating ideas, which has been studied and understood for a hell of a lot longer than this intermatron thingummy, I don't really want to know your theories on where 'new' media is heading. Stand up, turn around, order another cappucino, and get back to your important dissection of the underlying metaphors present in modern literature.
By the way, Richard Fidler? You really ought to know better by now. For shame.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Where is my mind?
Not an accurate title, but one should never pass up an opportunity to quote the Pixies. After a hiatus (during which the tooth fairy got a little impatient and ripped out four of my third molars, after which she forgot to leave me any money and in fact charged a small fortune for the inconvenience) I am back to ruminate at length in another T&T&T edition this time on the subject of imagination, or disturbing lack thereof. (Well, maybe not at too much length - t**sday is approaching fast)
Now I am well aware that lamenting the follies of youth is traditionally the prerogative of the old and toothless, but given that in the last fortnight I have turned 25* and lost nearly 10% of my teeth, I feel qualified. So. Imagination. Where'd it go?
About a year ago some friends and I went into a toyshop. We wanted some Lego. Or Mecchano. Or some blocks. What there was, was a heap of Shrek branded thingies and Hulk Fists and Spiderman whotsits. Absolutely nothing in there was a toy in itself. There WAS Lego, yes, but it was all Star Wars kits - AT-AT's and Pods and little weird things from those horrible excuses for films that make up episodes 1-3. Everything had to tell you how to play with it. "This is how fun happens - do what we say and you will have fun."
Where was the magnadoodle? Where was the huge mismatched bucket of lego blocks that you could make into ANYTHING? Why did I have to get past the latest useless schlockbuster to get to the toy?
A retired teacher remarked to me the other day that young children today use the phrase "I'm bored" a lot more often than they used to. This doesn't surprise me one bit. If you can't summarise the fun in the length of a ringtone, no one is prepared to give it the time of day. I'm guilty of the same instant dismissal. I'll gladly dismiss things before I've even seen them. (Big Brother, Australian Idol, almost everything in an Aria chart)
Fortunately, we may live in a time where imaginations are not nurtured and encouraged, but there is a low barrier of entry for those who seek to right the ills of the world. One could choose a vow of silence. One could choose to become a children's entertainer and do something at the grass roots level. One could become The Blogger We All Hate and start a blog to whinge and bitch and moan about the world.
Or, you could get out there and make some cool toys...
Soon, My Pretties, soon....
Damn. T**sday crept up on me again.
* Ok, so that's not OLD, but my generation are meant to have at least 3 complete careers to look forward to, so I must be fairly well advanced through the first one and approaching retirement.
Now I am well aware that lamenting the follies of youth is traditionally the prerogative of the old and toothless, but given that in the last fortnight I have turned 25* and lost nearly 10% of my teeth, I feel qualified. So. Imagination. Where'd it go?
About a year ago some friends and I went into a toyshop. We wanted some Lego. Or Mecchano. Or some blocks. What there was, was a heap of Shrek branded thingies and Hulk Fists and Spiderman whotsits. Absolutely nothing in there was a toy in itself. There WAS Lego, yes, but it was all Star Wars kits - AT-AT's and Pods and little weird things from those horrible excuses for films that make up episodes 1-3. Everything had to tell you how to play with it. "This is how fun happens - do what we say and you will have fun."
Where was the magnadoodle? Where was the huge mismatched bucket of lego blocks that you could make into ANYTHING? Why did I have to get past the latest useless schlockbuster to get to the toy?
A retired teacher remarked to me the other day that young children today use the phrase "I'm bored" a lot more often than they used to. This doesn't surprise me one bit. If you can't summarise the fun in the length of a ringtone, no one is prepared to give it the time of day. I'm guilty of the same instant dismissal. I'll gladly dismiss things before I've even seen them. (Big Brother, Australian Idol, almost everything in an Aria chart)
Fortunately, we may live in a time where imaginations are not nurtured and encouraged, but there is a low barrier of entry for those who seek to right the ills of the world. One could choose a vow of silence. One could choose to become a children's entertainer and do something at the grass roots level. One could become The Blogger We All Hate and start a blog to whinge and bitch and moan about the world.
Or, you could get out there and make some cool toys...
Soon, My Pretties, soon....
Damn. T**sday crept up on me again.
* Ok, so that's not OLD, but my generation are meant to have at least 3 complete careers to look forward to, so I must be fairly well advanced through the first one and approaching retirement.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
How To Win
There comes a point in every OZ viewer's life (that is, the viewers who are enjoying the show from the new vantage point of the net-savvy* tv-without-ads-on-demand-watching-whole-seasons-over-a-weekend-rather-than-a-few-months, as opposed to the populatation that unfortunately have to have it delivered to them via expensive and inefficient channels) when they have to ask themselves - can I stop now?
Working, as we at souptoys do, in a decommissioned penitentiary, the show gives an interesting insight into what was going on here before we turned (part of) it into a toy factory. I can't say I've watched as much as my colleagues, but the bits I've seen (complete with french subtitles) have been more than shocking enough to convince me that it's a worthwhile, if not a happy, production. The shivving and OZ-style 'fraternity' is portrayed in such a vivid way that to watch can be at times cringemaking, if not painful.
When is enough? With six seasons and no happy end in sight (HOW can this have been made in America?) how does a viewer decide they've had all the beatings, shivving and rape they can handle? If you quit before the end do you 'win'? Having gotten the point that the prison system is, like t**sday: Fucked, can you stop - or do you owe it to the characters (representative as they are of a large portion of society) to watch to the bitter end and in doing so understand their situation somewhat better?
My guess is watch as much as you can stand - education can be a painful process, but understanding is the first step in a Jerry Springer Closing Thought.
Here's something fun
Coming soon on T&T&T - "The Blogger We All Hate" and "Where Did My Imagination Go?"
* Normally, I wouldn't use the word 'savvy' but fortunately Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio have put it in context that makes it a worthwhile word, rather than a term used by people with no technical knowledge to describe people who can remember how to do simple things on computers.
[Editors note: Where possible, entertaining and whimsical links are provided by Rory]
Working, as we at souptoys do, in a decommissioned penitentiary, the show gives an interesting insight into what was going on here before we turned (part of) it into a toy factory. I can't say I've watched as much as my colleagues, but the bits I've seen (complete with french subtitles) have been more than shocking enough to convince me that it's a worthwhile, if not a happy, production. The shivving and OZ-style 'fraternity' is portrayed in such a vivid way that to watch can be at times cringemaking, if not painful.
When is enough? With six seasons and no happy end in sight (HOW can this have been made in America?) how does a viewer decide they've had all the beatings, shivving and rape they can handle? If you quit before the end do you 'win'? Having gotten the point that the prison system is, like t**sday: Fucked, can you stop - or do you owe it to the characters (representative as they are of a large portion of society) to watch to the bitter end and in doing so understand their situation somewhat better?
My guess is watch as much as you can stand - education can be a painful process, but understanding is the first step in a Jerry Springer Closing Thought.
Here's something fun
Coming soon on T&T&T - "The Blogger We All Hate" and "Where Did My Imagination Go?"
* Normally, I wouldn't use the word 'savvy' but fortunately Ted Elliott & Terry Rossio have put it in context that makes it a worthwhile word, rather than a term used by people with no technical knowledge to describe people who can remember how to do simple things on computers.
[Editors note: Where possible, entertaining and whimsical links are provided by Rory]
Broadcast Artisans Call To Arms!
I found John Doyle and Greg Pickhaver a taste that took a long time to acquire, when my first exposure was JJJ's This Sporting Life segment. As I am with olives, I am glad that I took the time to get used to the taste as now it's one I savour.
In the wonderful tradition of people reading these things to be told what to do/read/think/eat, I am linking to John Doyle's Andrew Olle Lecture 2005. You can read it, but to really appreciate it, I'd recommend downloading the mp3.
It's all here.
For anyone reading outside Australia, it may be a bit cryptic in parts, (Hell, for someone living in the west of australia bits of it were a bit cryptic) but he raises some excellent points. Especially the taxing of commercial networks to fund ABC drama.
In the wonderful tradition of people reading these things to be told what to do/read/think/eat, I am linking to John Doyle's Andrew Olle Lecture 2005. You can read it, but to really appreciate it, I'd recommend downloading the mp3.
It's all here.
For anyone reading outside Australia, it may be a bit cryptic in parts, (Hell, for someone living in the west of australia bits of it were a bit cryptic) but he raises some excellent points. Especially the taxing of commercial networks to fund ABC drama.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Open Source and Other Industries
Specifically: Animation.
I read a laughable quote from someone at Disney a while back saying "People just don't want to watch hand animated movies any more..."
Of course! That's gotta be it! Spirited Away, Triplets of Bellevue - they were successful because why exactly? Can't have had anything to do with actually having decent stories.
But hey - shortsightedness at large companies is something every young artist should be encouraging - especially now.
Let's look at an animated feature: Long development time, expensive development time, expensive distribution. How do we fix it?
Why not take a leaf out of the *nix and open source dev world and open up animated movies? Have a few key and motivated people keeping the thing alive and making necessary decisions (directors, if you will) then leave what can be out there for people to do themselves out there.
Script development can be done with something like Writeboard, from there storyboards can be done by whoever wants to, and ok'd by the directorial staff when they're done. Character sheets can be uploaded, commented upon, designs defended and retried, all through a combination of blogging and source control for the actual images.
Flash isn't expensive, and what's more, thousands of talented people already have it. If they could come to a site, see which shots need doing, grab the storyboards and have a crack at animating it themselves. Editors can come and grab the swf's and splice them together as they see fit. Sound engineers can stop by and add effects, actors can record their interpretations of the dialogue and upload them for use and/or scrutiny...
It might be horrible. It might never see completion. It might find enough like minded people to get together and do it themselves outside the public eye of the internet. If it gets people interested in making movies and telling stories, then as far as I'm concerned - it's worked.
It's certainly possible. Anyone up for an animated Macbeth?
I read a laughable quote from someone at Disney a while back saying "People just don't want to watch hand animated movies any more..."
Of course! That's gotta be it! Spirited Away, Triplets of Bellevue - they were successful because why exactly? Can't have had anything to do with actually having decent stories.
But hey - shortsightedness at large companies is something every young artist should be encouraging - especially now.
Let's look at an animated feature: Long development time, expensive development time, expensive distribution. How do we fix it?
Why not take a leaf out of the *nix and open source dev world and open up animated movies? Have a few key and motivated people keeping the thing alive and making necessary decisions (directors, if you will) then leave what can be out there for people to do themselves out there.
Script development can be done with something like Writeboard, from there storyboards can be done by whoever wants to, and ok'd by the directorial staff when they're done. Character sheets can be uploaded, commented upon, designs defended and retried, all through a combination of blogging and source control for the actual images.
Flash isn't expensive, and what's more, thousands of talented people already have it. If they could come to a site, see which shots need doing, grab the storyboards and have a crack at animating it themselves. Editors can come and grab the swf's and splice them together as they see fit. Sound engineers can stop by and add effects, actors can record their interpretations of the dialogue and upload them for use and/or scrutiny...
It might be horrible. It might never see completion. It might find enough like minded people to get together and do it themselves outside the public eye of the internet. If it gets people interested in making movies and telling stories, then as far as I'm concerned - it's worked.
It's certainly possible. Anyone up for an animated Macbeth?
Saturday, October 08, 2005
The Magic of the Toasted Sandwich
We're talking the shell and the filling. The inside's got to be liquid enough to whet and wet the cripsy outside, and the outside's got to be crisp and firm enough to support the gooey, liquid centre.
It's a balancing act to make Casanova's secretary look on with an expression of quiet jealous awe. Get it wrong and you're in trouble. Send your top five fillings to roastbeefonionandcheese@thebreville.com
It's a balancing act to make Casanova's secretary look on with an expression of quiet jealous awe. Get it wrong and you're in trouble. Send your top five fillings to roastbeefonionandcheese@thebreville.com
Friday, October 07, 2005
Blog This!
A significant moment is happening. It's happening.
This is what my old friend and colleague norman is saying right now. It's quite interesting to think that defining moments in your life are happening and you have absolutely no control over them. Such is the case right now with our little project.
We know certain things: They've been there for long enough to have downloaded our little project and had a look. What they are doing there RIGHT NOW is beyond our control, but to have worked towards this moment and to know it is happening is, well, rather satisfying.
But that's a bit self-centred and egotistical a subject to wax lyrical on... That's why I'd like to talk about something irrelevant and hopefully amusing. So, let's hear it for: A Guide to Ringtone Fortune and Success.
So, you want to make the next ringtone fortune? What do you need:
1) an incessant and catchy tune
2) an animated and cute character
3) some form of distribution channel
Option three seems to be the easiest to acquire - all you need is options one and two...
One: What are your options? Write one - a jingle, a rhythmical spoken or onomatopaeic sequence... or... you can trawl through the AM dial listening out from catchy and most importantly out of copyright tunes, then acquiring the rights.
Number Two: Getting an animated cute character. Now here's a heads up to all the talented and time rich, asset poor animators I know over on sites like cgtalk.com... Seriously people - if you've got the price of a krispy kreme doughnut and a cup of costa rican mocha on you, you can afford an animated character.... Animators didn't just create Dumbo, the new breed will work for peanuts, just the same as everyone's favourite elevated elephant. There are oodles of talented people out there, and by god advertising folks, they're dieing to get a shot at the [pick appropriate size] time. With the cost of software through the floor these days, and hardware following fast, there's nothing to stop the energetic youth acquiring the means, and with the lack of a decently supported education system, procuring the time, to make some of the most professional and inspired animations/characters you've ever seen.
of course, a lot of it's crap, but if you've ever had anything to do with a signal/noise ratio, you'll know it's a worthwhile search.
and there was me, about to write a post on the physiology of the common garden slug, but that's the intermatron for you kids. Send me your best recipes for beer based foods based on beer to yeastismurder@whinginglefty.com
This is what my old friend and colleague norman is saying right now. It's quite interesting to think that defining moments in your life are happening and you have absolutely no control over them. Such is the case right now with our little project.
We know certain things: They've been there for long enough to have downloaded our little project and had a look. What they are doing there RIGHT NOW is beyond our control, but to have worked towards this moment and to know it is happening is, well, rather satisfying.
But that's a bit self-centred and egotistical a subject to wax lyrical on... That's why I'd like to talk about something irrelevant and hopefully amusing. So, let's hear it for: A Guide to Ringtone Fortune and Success.
So, you want to make the next ringtone fortune? What do you need:
1) an incessant and catchy tune
2) an animated and cute character
3) some form of distribution channel
Option three seems to be the easiest to acquire - all you need is options one and two...
One: What are your options? Write one - a jingle, a rhythmical spoken or onomatopaeic sequence... or... you can trawl through the AM dial listening out from catchy and most importantly out of copyright tunes, then acquiring the rights.
Number Two: Getting an animated cute character. Now here's a heads up to all the talented and time rich, asset poor animators I know over on sites like cgtalk.com... Seriously people - if you've got the price of a krispy kreme doughnut and a cup of costa rican mocha on you, you can afford an animated character.... Animators didn't just create Dumbo, the new breed will work for peanuts, just the same as everyone's favourite elevated elephant. There are oodles of talented people out there, and by god advertising folks, they're dieing to get a shot at the [pick appropriate size] time. With the cost of software through the floor these days, and hardware following fast, there's nothing to stop the energetic youth acquiring the means, and with the lack of a decently supported education system, procuring the time, to make some of the most professional and inspired animations/characters you've ever seen.
of course, a lot of it's crap, but if you've ever had anything to do with a signal/noise ratio, you'll know it's a worthwhile search.
and there was me, about to write a post on the physiology of the common garden slug, but that's the intermatron for you kids. Send me your best recipes for beer based foods based on beer to yeastismurder@whinginglefty.com
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
MEATMAN!
A lengthy discourse on the ills of vegetarianism can wait for a later date, but for now I would like to introduce a close personal friend of mine - Meat Man! He came to life one dark and stormy TPB night (which traditionally falls on a t**sday evening) when a pile of burger mince was left to its own devices for a little long at that den of iniquity that is Railway (the house, not the long winding dual stretches of steel)
While we were out by the chiminea, Meat Man was brought to life by a Spotty Man and his Cosmic Dust. (also some spoons)
Now, thanks to the magic of googlevision, we can present Meat Man to the whole world for all to enjoy here.
Personally, I'm looking forward to the third part of Meat Man's documentary, all about slugs...
While we were out by the chiminea, Meat Man was brought to life by a Spotty Man and his Cosmic Dust. (also some spoons)
Now, thanks to the magic of googlevision, we can present Meat Man to the whole world for all to enjoy here.
Personally, I'm looking forward to the third part of Meat Man's documentary, all about slugs...
Bibo ergo sum
Okay, that's kicked it all off with a little Shakespeare. Congrats to Lord Homans who spotted the deliberate mistake. He wins a cold, wet, UK winter for his troubles.
Perhaps someone with a more classical education can clear up any grammatical or latinical mistakes in the title, but even if it's wildly wrong, it's one of my favourite sequences of words in any language I've come across. Born (for those of you born after latin went off the syllabus) of the phrase 'cogito ergo sum' or "I think, therefore I am" and the basis for the word 'imbibe' in 'bibo', we get the nice little phrase "I drink, therefore I am."
Now, if Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Bruce are to be beleived, René Descartes was a drunken fart, so I like to think he would approve of the sentiment. Certainly it has not done me any harm in the short term. Which brings me to the point of the post.
Tuesday. Do we need it?
At the souptoys office over the last year or so, we have come to regard tuesday with the sort of contempt we vaguely knew it deserved, but had never put into words quite why. Now, if Jim Davis is to be beleived, (and please, if anyone reading this has laughed at a garfield comic in the last 20 years, for the love of god go buy yourself some Watterson) Monday is the traditional worst day of the working week. Witness the opening scenes of 'Office Space' for more on 'the mondays' Anyhow...
Even when I wasn't working at a job that stretches my mind and lets me put basically all my hobbies into a 'working' day that I kinda feel guilty about having because it's so much damn fun, I never had a problem with mondays. It's a monday. You get over it and get on with it. You've just had 2 days off and you're in need of some mental stimulation on some level other than 'where will we go to bibo next?'
But come tuesday... well... You get to realise that you actually DIDN'T need a change in mental gear after all, and it's a few too many days before you can start planning your weekend shenanigans and you're still kinda groggy from the weekend, and all the work you did yesterday with your wonderful monday weekend hangover you didn't quite realise you were having will have to be redone.
End effect? Crap day.
So, what we've done at souptoys is to give the working week a bit of a reshuffle. Eventually the plan is to do away with tuesday altogether, but we recognise that the journey of a thousand wossnames begins with a single credit card booking on virgin blue, so we have devised a mutli staged attack on that most evil of days. Tuesday has thus been re-christened Boozeday, and you can find us in the office kicking ideas around over a few pints. This keeps the whole 'seven day week' thing in check with the rest of the western world and prevents unnecessary confusion (because, let's face it, we're sloshed by the time any other timezone that we work with comes online)
So there we have it: Part one of the eradication of t**sday. Why not talk it over with your boss today? We've found it leads to greater monday productivity (the next 'weekend' is only a few hours away) and a shorter, more effective working week for all.
I'm sure it'll be all the rage with management types in no time.
Perhaps someone with a more classical education can clear up any grammatical or latinical mistakes in the title, but even if it's wildly wrong, it's one of my favourite sequences of words in any language I've come across. Born (for those of you born after latin went off the syllabus) of the phrase 'cogito ergo sum' or "I think, therefore I am" and the basis for the word 'imbibe' in 'bibo', we get the nice little phrase "I drink, therefore I am."
Now, if Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Bruce are to be beleived, René Descartes was a drunken fart, so I like to think he would approve of the sentiment. Certainly it has not done me any harm in the short term. Which brings me to the point of the post.
Tuesday. Do we need it?
At the souptoys office over the last year or so, we have come to regard tuesday with the sort of contempt we vaguely knew it deserved, but had never put into words quite why. Now, if Jim Davis is to be beleived, (and please, if anyone reading this has laughed at a garfield comic in the last 20 years, for the love of god go buy yourself some Watterson) Monday is the traditional worst day of the working week. Witness the opening scenes of 'Office Space' for more on 'the mondays' Anyhow...
Even when I wasn't working at a job that stretches my mind and lets me put basically all my hobbies into a 'working' day that I kinda feel guilty about having because it's so much damn fun, I never had a problem with mondays. It's a monday. You get over it and get on with it. You've just had 2 days off and you're in need of some mental stimulation on some level other than 'where will we go to bibo next?'
But come tuesday... well... You get to realise that you actually DIDN'T need a change in mental gear after all, and it's a few too many days before you can start planning your weekend shenanigans and you're still kinda groggy from the weekend, and all the work you did yesterday with your wonderful monday weekend hangover you didn't quite realise you were having will have to be redone.
End effect? Crap day.
So, what we've done at souptoys is to give the working week a bit of a reshuffle. Eventually the plan is to do away with tuesday altogether, but we recognise that the journey of a thousand wossnames begins with a single credit card booking on virgin blue, so we have devised a mutli staged attack on that most evil of days. Tuesday has thus been re-christened Boozeday, and you can find us in the office kicking ideas around over a few pints. This keeps the whole 'seven day week' thing in check with the rest of the western world and prevents unnecessary confusion (because, let's face it, we're sloshed by the time any other timezone that we work with comes online)
So there we have it: Part one of the eradication of t**sday. Why not talk it over with your boss today? We've found it leads to greater monday productivity (the next 'weekend' is only a few hours away) and a shorter, more effective working week for all.
I'm sure it'll be all the rage with management types in no time.
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