Sure. Yeah. I _said_ I was through with the wine bloggery.
This isn't a wine blog entry though. It's a recipe.
1 bottle of Dunnewood Cab Sav
1 packet 'Twistos' (Oreo ripoffs that CLAIM to be $0.99 and are actually $2.99)
Pour enough glasses of the wine that 'dates back to decades ago' for all present.
Dip one cookie into your own glass and exclaim enthusiastically at the delightful taste that ensues.
If Rory isn't convinced, go for another dip.
Watch as Rory dips his cookie in and tastes the foul and noxious resultant mush.
Laugh.
Find something to take the taste of horrible biscuitwine out of your mouth. Bleach seems to do the trick.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
I will resist the urge
to drop into colloquial ockerisms for the remainder of this post, suffice it to say I would like to wish everyone a Vege- er, Very Happy Australia Day 2006. For all its faults, it's still a grous- um, Great place and it's... y'know... home 'n that.
...
Ah fuck it.
snaggerssheilasvegiebarbiestinniesfootiesandgrop-
ersgrouseaussieinstertappropriatenounebvbswandra-
ftcottobhboonieborderwarnieaflgothedockersthongs-
barriesboganswestiesdownsouthsurfinsummertruckie-
tanssteeringwheelhotnesscricketgreenandgoldshort-
eninganygivennametosyllableoneplusObackyardcrick-
etoksothatsarepeatofcricketandthereitisagaincozi-
tssodamnaussieaussieaussieoioioiaussieaussieauss-
ieoioioiaussieoiaussieoiaussieaussieaussieaussie-
oioioibryanbrownportiaderossithatheathfellajebse-
llemacphersonkatefisherhuntersandcollectorsthela-
nddownundermoretinnieseskieshillshoistssidneynol-
anthrowyourarmsaroundmecatrionarowntreethechanne-
lnineweatherchickanythingsaidthroughthenosewhing-
ingaboutwhingingpommiesmaybegettingaroundtosayin-
gsorrythisyearflagtattsinthenewspaperboardiesand-
ofcoursethebestlookingbabesinbikinisonthebestand-
longestandsandiestbeachesonthisearthohmygodhowca-
niforgetthehumbleyetohsowonderfulandpraiseworthy-
bainmariemeatpiefromtheservobloodybeautymate
...
Ah fuck it.
snaggerssheilasvegiebarbiestinniesfootiesandgrop-
ersgrouseaussieinstertappropriatenounebvbswandra-
ftcottobhboonieborderwarnieaflgothedockersthongs-
barriesboganswestiesdownsouthsurfinsummertruckie-
tanssteeringwheelhotnesscricketgreenandgoldshort-
eninganygivennametosyllableoneplusObackyardcrick-
etoksothatsarepeatofcricketandthereitisagaincozi-
tssodamnaussieaussieaussieoioioiaussieaussieauss-
ieoioioiaussieoiaussieoiaussieaussieaussieaussie-
oioioibryanbrownportiaderossithatheathfellajebse-
llemacphersonkatefisherhuntersandcollectorsthela-
nddownundermoretinnieseskieshillshoistssidneynol-
anthrowyourarmsaroundmecatrionarowntreethechanne-
lnineweatherchickanythingsaidthroughthenosewhing-
ingaboutwhingingpommiesmaybegettingaroundtosayin-
gsorrythisyearflagtattsinthenewspaperboardiesand-
ofcoursethebestlookingbabesinbikinisonthebestand-
longestandsandiestbeachesonthisearthohmygodhowca-
niforgetthehumbleyetohsowonderfulandpraiseworthy-
bainmariemeatpiefromtheservobloodybeautymate
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
There's only one cure.
My colleagues are cheese men. Hell, I've been known to dabble in the eating of various cheesy comestibles in my time, in fact, I like to think of myself as something of a cheese appreciator.
Yet there are two forms of cheese I will never eat.
Version one: Kraft Easy Cheese. Aerosol and off milk should never go together. It's as simple as that. It's like some form of edible silly string that doesn't shoot as far. This is what's Rockin' Rory's Stomach (just like gastro-enter-i-tis did)
Cheese two: Grated Parmesan & Romano in easy sprinkling form. Now, this one's actually a bit misleading, because I _have_ and will eat this form of cheese again. No, what I will avoid is the remnants Tim has taken claim of, which have the delectable expiry date of June. Twenty-seventh. Two thousand and TWO. I've seen blue cheese, I've seen orange cheese, and oh so many variations on yellow cheese.
Brown cheese?
Please.
The cure?
White Russians and lots of 'em.
Yet there are two forms of cheese I will never eat.
Version one: Kraft Easy Cheese. Aerosol and off milk should never go together. It's as simple as that. It's like some form of edible silly string that doesn't shoot as far. This is what's Rockin' Rory's Stomach (just like gastro-enter-i-tis did)
Cheese two: Grated Parmesan & Romano in easy sprinkling form. Now, this one's actually a bit misleading, because I _have_ and will eat this form of cheese again. No, what I will avoid is the remnants Tim has taken claim of, which have the delectable expiry date of June. Twenty-seventh. Two thousand and TWO. I've seen blue cheese, I've seen orange cheese, and oh so many variations on yellow cheese.
Brown cheese?
Please.
The cure?
White Russians and lots of 'em.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Wine Updates
We never did finish the Red Truck.
Foxhorn Vineyards do a nice little number that accompanies COD2 very nicely, and at $6.99 (plus tax) for 1.25L it's (as they say here) a no-brainer*.
We've been drinking some south aussie red by the large bottle too, mainly because it's cheap (east aussie wine seems to be about $1/gallon here... west aussie, if you can find it, is the sort of prices one would expect) and tastes like wine rather than some sort of wine-like fruit drink filled with sugar.
Rory just broke a glass. Whoops. That's going to hurt when he staggers out to his corner of the desk in the morning.
Ok. I'm done with the wine blogging. It was swell while it lasted, but as Lori Petty says, the swelling's gone down.
From now on, it's... umm... y'know... stuff. Dave, if you're reading this, let me know how the real title for the Dirty Dozen project's coming along.
* which by the quality of the wine I guess means I'll have no brain by the morning. C'est la vie.
Foxhorn Vineyards do a nice little number that accompanies COD2 very nicely, and at $6.99 (plus tax) for 1.25L it's (as they say here) a no-brainer*.
We've been drinking some south aussie red by the large bottle too, mainly because it's cheap (east aussie wine seems to be about $1/gallon here... west aussie, if you can find it, is the sort of prices one would expect) and tastes like wine rather than some sort of wine-like fruit drink filled with sugar.
Rory just broke a glass. Whoops. That's going to hurt when he staggers out to his corner of the desk in the morning.
Ok. I'm done with the wine blogging. It was swell while it lasted, but as Lori Petty says, the swelling's gone down.
From now on, it's... umm... y'know... stuff. Dave, if you're reading this, let me know how the real title for the Dirty Dozen project's coming along.
* which by the quality of the wine I guess means I'll have no brain by the morning. C'est la vie.
Here and There
Here they don't have street lights.
There they don't have snow.
Here they put salt and sugar in EVERYTHING
There I didn't know what salt was until I moved to Napes
Here they drive on this side.
There they drive on the right side.
Here is way closer to New York.
There is way closer to Cott.
Here the toilets use lots of water.
There the toilets have spiders.
Here they too few roundabouts.
There they have too many traffic lights.
Here you can order stuff online.
There you can buy beer on a sunday.
Here I drive an Audi
There I drove an Excel
Here I spend all day with norm & ror.
There I spent all day with norm & ror.
Here we're travelling to the big city to celebrate our national day
There I'm missing a pool-party or seven.
Here the butter comes in little sticks.
There the tomatoes don't cost $1.10 each
Here we're approaching alpha...
There they don't have snow.
Here they put salt and sugar in EVERYTHING
There I didn't know what salt was until I moved to Napes
Here they drive on this side.
There they drive on the right side.
Here is way closer to New York.
There is way closer to Cott.
Here the toilets use lots of water.
There the toilets have spiders.
Here they too few roundabouts.
There they have too many traffic lights.
Here you can order stuff online.
There you can buy beer on a sunday.
Here I drive an Audi
There I drove an Excel
Here I spend all day with norm & ror.
There I spent all day with norm & ror.
Here we're travelling to the big city to celebrate our national day
There I'm missing a pool-party or seven.
Here the butter comes in little sticks.
There the tomatoes don't cost $1.10 each
Here we're approaching alpha...
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Wild Bunch
They Say:
Some are born to it -
Others just ake a walk there every now and then. All of us come from it. And there's still a little bit in everyone. You don't have to join the wild bunch because you are already a member.
- Come as you are. [as you were, etc.]
Bright red fruit aromas lead late tongue-drenching juicy fruit flavors, with a long soft finigh. Delicious, and fun to share with friends. 2003 Wild Bunch is a blend of Zinfandel, Syrah and Barbera. GET WILD!
Kelly Says:
It didn't taste like it did in the store.
3/10
Some are born to it -
Others just ake a walk there every now and then. All of us come from it. And there's still a little bit in everyone. You don't have to join the wild bunch because you are already a member.
- Come as you are. [as you were, etc.]
Bright red fruit aromas lead late tongue-drenching juicy fruit flavors, with a long soft finigh. Delicious, and fun to share with friends. 2003 Wild Bunch is a blend of Zinfandel, Syrah and Barbera. GET WILD!
Kelly Says:
It didn't taste like it did in the store.
3/10
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Gumstripper
Beringer Founders' Estate 2003 Cabernet Sauvignon
They say:
Our wines are a tribute to the Beringer Brothers who founded Beringer Vineyards in 1876. These classically styled, fruit-forward wines are hand-crafted for your enjoyment. [Enough already! Tell us about the wine...] This full-bodied Cabernet Savignon [...thankyou.] exhibits deep berry flavors [sic] and subtle notes of toasted oak and vanilla spice. Serve with your favourite grilled meats or hearty pasta dishes. Enjoy! (their italics)
We say:
"The first thing it did was strip the skin off the roof of my mouth," says Cabin Guy Rory. "A full-bodied red; with an after experience similar to a velvet throat-cushion. My tongue is slow like a bean-bag. A pleasant experience, but lacking in quaff."
5.5/10
Norm says: "Yeah, it's quaffable."
They say:
Our wines are a tribute to the Beringer Brothers who founded Beringer Vineyards in 1876. These classically styled, fruit-forward wines are hand-crafted for your enjoyment. [Enough already! Tell us about the wine...] This full-bodied Cabernet Savignon [...thankyou.] exhibits deep berry flavors [sic] and subtle notes of toasted oak and vanilla spice. Serve with your favourite grilled meats or hearty pasta dishes. Enjoy! (their italics)
We say:
"The first thing it did was strip the skin off the roof of my mouth," says Cabin Guy Rory. "A full-bodied red; with an after experience similar to a velvet throat-cushion. My tongue is slow like a bean-bag. A pleasant experience, but lacking in quaff."
5.5/10
Norm says: "Yeah, it's quaffable."
Woodbridge California Merlot
I don't know who Robert Mondavi is, but he certainly mixes a good drop o' merlot. Today we're looking (initially) at a 2003 merlot that poses the question: "The Perfect Toast?"
They Say:
Aging in small oak barrels gives wines softer, more developed flavors [sic] with nuances of toasty oak. We handcraft our Merlot with this traditional method to marry the wine's velvety blackberry, plum and violet flavors [sic] with spicy, toasty oak, creating a soft red wine with a lingering finish. So whateer your "toast" or meal, enjoy it with our flavorful [sic] Merlot.
We say:
Small oak barrels my arse. When a wine is as smooth as this all you need to put on the label is: "Red wine. Does not hurt to drink." As for a 'violet' flavour, I'm listening to some french album that sounds bacony. Please. Much like good reggae, it's inoffensive yet lacks distinction.
6.5/10
Norm has nothing to add.
They Say:
Aging in small oak barrels gives wines softer, more developed flavors [sic] with nuances of toasty oak. We handcraft our Merlot with this traditional method to marry the wine's velvety blackberry, plum and violet flavors [sic] with spicy, toasty oak, creating a soft red wine with a lingering finish. So whateer your "toast" or meal, enjoy it with our flavorful [sic] Merlot.
We say:
Small oak barrels my arse. When a wine is as smooth as this all you need to put on the label is: "Red wine. Does not hurt to drink." As for a 'violet' flavour, I'm listening to some french album that sounds bacony. Please. Much like good reggae, it's inoffensive yet lacks distinction.
6.5/10
Norm has nothing to add.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Truth in advertising
Much to our surprise, bottle number two stayed true to at least part of it's bottleblurb. In light of this, we're going to let it tell its side of the story in full.
Columbia Crest Two Wines
2002 Cab Sav
They say: [with annotations] Columbia Crest Cabernet Sauvignon is a full-bodied wine known for its immediate enjoyment [we concur] as well as its age-worthiness. [while we can't comment empirically on this, give that it's a 3 year old bottle, it stands up orright.] Toasty vanilla is woven [what is this, an ice-cream rug?] throughout the wine's rich black cherry core. Oak barrel aging adds dimension.
We say: The first half of Wolf Creek is pretty crap. The girl from seachange is cute, but the plot is less believable than The Course. They shouldn't have pushed the car off the cliff and now they're splitting up. For the love of jeebuz.
6/10
Columbia Crest Two Wines
2002 Cab Sav
They say: [with annotations] Columbia Crest Cabernet Sauvignon is a full-bodied wine known for its immediate enjoyment [we concur] as well as its age-worthiness. [while we can't comment empirically on this, give that it's a 3 year old bottle, it stands up orright.] Toasty vanilla is woven [what is this, an ice-cream rug?] throughout the wine's rich black cherry core. Oak barrel aging adds dimension.
We say: The first half of Wolf Creek is pretty crap. The girl from seachange is cute, but the plot is less believable than The Course. They shouldn't have pushed the car off the cliff and now they're splitting up. For the love of jeebuz.
6/10
Lady in Red
I'm sure anyone actually reading this will want to hear about Brooklyn, Manhattan and all that travelly stuff, but instead, here is part one of the Cabin Guys Guide to American Red Wine...
There are rules, but we won't tell you what they are.
Let's begin.
RED TRUCK
2004 California 'Red Wine'
They Say: All kinds of crap about a fictional red truck on your grandfather's farm making you feel good.
We say: Electric, like sticking your tongue across the terminals of a 9v battery. The aroma is reminiscent of a prosthetic limb production facility. Price was $7.99. Has a slight numbing effect on the lips and tongue, but unlike Kava, it's not really that pleasant. Overall? Pretty bad, but we'll finish the bottle.
3/10
There are rules, but we won't tell you what they are.
Let's begin.
RED TRUCK
2004 California 'Red Wine'
They Say: All kinds of crap about a fictional red truck on your grandfather's farm making you feel good.
We say: Electric, like sticking your tongue across the terminals of a 9v battery. The aroma is reminiscent of a prosthetic limb production facility. Price was $7.99. Has a slight numbing effect on the lips and tongue, but unlike Kava, it's not really that pleasant. Overall? Pretty bad, but we'll finish the bottle.
3/10
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